Much of my life’s work has been focused on learning about how people think and act, what is healthy and what gets in the way of living a healthy life. Over the years I have learned a lot while I continue to learn more every day. What I will never understand is why some people just seem to relish causing pain and suffering and flat out mayhem for others.

What makes a person to enjoy causing anguish for others? How could any one person be hurt enough him or herself to justify turning around and harming others? I believe it is an endless search for power and control over others from people who have no power or control over themselves. In short, they are bullies, and bullies come in all ages, shapes, and sizes.

So, what does someone do in these types of situations?

First, look in the mirror and make sure you aren’t the problem. If you are and you can see it, good for you! You can change it! Real bullies cannot see themselves clearly because they are too busy looking at everyone else as the troublemakers, the enemy, the one to be defeated, taught a lesson, even demeaned.

Don’t waste your time or your breath trying to understand what is not understandable, even to the “experts.” Don’t waste your time trying to explain or defend yourself or arguing because, no matter what you say or do, you are WRONG. If it is an option, walk away—a winning strategy in a losing situation.

Do stay focused on what you know is best and healthy for you. Hint: If your goal is not to gain power or control over others or create pointless mayhem, you’re probably on the right course. Be true to yourself! Surround yourself with supportive people who have your best interest at heart. Clean house of negative people who just want a fight and who leave you feeling drained—you know who they are.

If you read this and wonder if I’m describing you, I probably am.

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