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What Makes a Divorce Final?

When the judge signs the papers saying you are no longer married, right? Not so fast. Probably most people going through a divorce have said at least once, “I just want it to be over.” But, definitions of what constitutes “over” aren’t necessarily that clear. While marriage counseling is focused on saving marriages, working to…

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Real Romance

Discussions about popular romance books and movies frequently come up in therapy sessions. Each person, each couple takes away their own message in their search for understanding and hopes of being understood. Sometimes those messages are unique to one person; often they are similar to multiple people. Sometimes the messages are helpful, but sometimes they are not. Who doesn’t…

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Mothers and Sons

I have been asked why I wrote about fathers and daughters in my piece Good Fathers Make Healthy Daughters in Reinventing Normal: How Choice and Change Shape Our Lives (copyright 2013), but I never wrote about mothers and sons. It’s a good question. When I was writing the piece on daughters, I had many examples…

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Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned On My Yoga Mat

Here we are again, thinking about getting back to a healthy lifestyle after holidays full of stresses and indulgences–that were anything but healthy. So, is it back to the gym where the biggest part of the workout is finding a place to park your car? Did you try this plan last year, or multiple years,…

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Can I Really Have It All?

This blog article was first published in 2014, but with New Year’s Resolutions looming it seems like a good time to pull it out and dust it off. Many, if not most of us do well with having set goals to work toward but make sure the goals you commit to set will set you…

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What is a Real Friend?

What is a Real Friend? It strikes me that the definition of “friend” has become a bit like the definition of “love.” There are so many different meanings, it can be hard to know for sure what is being communicated. Both words at their most sincere are the gifts of life, but it seems the…

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Bullies Come In All Ages, Shapes, & Sizes

BULLIES COME IN ALL AGES, SHAPES, AND SIZES Much of my life’s work has been focused on learning about how people think and act, what is healthy and what gets in the way of living a healthy life. Over the years I have learned a lot while I continue to learn more every day. What…

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What is an MFT

What is an MFT? I was talking with someone the other day about a National Patient Conference where I spoke on Living with Chronic Illness. She was shocked to hear about the subject of my presentation, saying she thought all I did was marriage counseling. I assured her MFT’s do a lot more than marriage…

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Why Does Therapy Work?

Multiple things make therapy work, and there is ample research to prove it. Studies consistently find a positive relationship with the therapist is the first step to achieving favorable outcomes. Having a safe place to simply be vulnerable without judgment or restriction can provide a powerful release. Being able to speak freely without interruption or…

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Living with chronic Illness

Chronic Illness

Are you living with a chronic illness? Is your schedule full of too many medical appointments and visits to the pharmacy, all focused on what is wrong with you? Do you sometimes feel like you are invisible in your own treatment, or are you withholding the truth about how you feel to minimize worry for…

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